Coulda, Shoulda, Prada – turn around, your mountain is this way and it is never too late

Coulda, Shoulda, Prada – turn around, your mountain is this way and it is never too late

Day 2 of the Climb That Mountain series. For Day 1 go here.

What if I prefer oceans?” for the love of Gary, would you just go with the metaphor? I can already hear some smart arse friends getting stuck on the mountain theme. We’re doing the mountain metaphor for your personal journey, ok? Just. Would you please. Gosh.

I’m now shaking my head from getting caught up in an imaginary conversation that would TOTALLY happen. We all have friends like these. We love them but man, they are so cheeky, aren’t they? Where was we.. oh, that’s right.

Let’s do a visualisation exercise.

Imagine two friends having a catch up in a cafe. They’re talking about what they have been doing and one of them is saying “Oh, I should really go back to the gym regularly. But I just lose track of time and before I know it, it’s the weekend. And also I haven’t been eating all that healthy. I shouldn’t have had all that wine the other night, I feel awful. I should really cut down on the sugar and the pastries. I also feel like I should be doing more meditation and I should really get a better paying job, and I should do more with my time and I shouldn’t have wasted all the chances I had in the past to study more, workout when I had the time or the energy. I’ve left things too late to make a change. I feel like I have arthritis, I should have taken better care of myself. I should have managed my finances better, I should take up a sport, I used to play but I didn’t practice enough. I should do something creative, but I never felt like I was any good at it, and I should…”

And finally the other friend leans forward and says, “Hey” and the friend pauses and says “what“, a little surprised. That’s when the other friend says,

You’ve got a little…. should on your face.

Have you been…. should-ing all over yourself like that? If not, well congratulations to you! You probably don’t need to read this post although, you might know someone who is should-ing themselves quite a bit. But if you are, well, you need to stop that. Or, more appropriately, you may wish to consider stopping that, so the legend says.1

Let go of “should”, of all the what should have beens, could have beens. Are your circumstances not as marvellous as you would like because of something that happened or that you did in the past? Oftentimes, life happens. Sometimes we make mistakes. We make choices that… meh, shrugs in I been there too.

But that’s life. We live, we learn. We keep living. What happened to you may not have been your fault. But how you move forwards is your responsibility. Maybe you did the best you could at the time and now you know you can do better. From this moment forward, how will you choose to live your life? How are you meant to move forward, onwards and upwards, if you look back and dwell on what should have been, could have been. In the words of the great Anastasia Beaverhausen

Coulda Shoulda Prada honey!

“Bed, Bath and Beyond” Will & Grace, NBC. Karen Walker was a gift! Aka Anastasia Beaverhausen

Don’t cling to an old mistake because you spent a lot of time making it. Let go or be dragged. Cut whatever cords that bind you to what was done. In investments sometimes it dawns on us that whatever this is… turns out not to be a good investment and we need to cut our losses and move on. If you ever play tennis, the point you just lost? Yeah, it’s important but not as important as the next point!

The point being that with whatever has happened you don’t necessarily need to completely throw the whole thing out and start all over. Take a look at what doesn’t make sense to hold on to as you move onwards. Sometimes we hang on to certain situations because we’re afraid of failing whatever endeavour we are thinking about embarking on. Forgive the past and release it. Let go or be dragged.

Also, let’s talk about life EXPERIENCE. Most experience comes from the mistakes we make. And sometimes great adventures come attached. You made it through to the other side of whatever you went through. Well done you!

“Every life experience, no matter how ‘tragic’ contains a hidden lesson. When we discover and acknowledge the hidden lesson that is there, a healing takes place.”

– Dr David R. Hawkins

Whatever happened got you to where you are now. And you are right on time and right where you need to be. You have plenty of time to now take action. Action is not dwelling or regretting. No more of that. Let’s get on with the rest of your life.

MOVING ON! Where’s that mountain? Head that way and look where you’re going.

Your task today: Listen to this song, break free and move on up. Maybe dance a little too. Stop shoulding all over yourself. Friends don’t let friends should themselves in the foot.

Movin’ on up, movin’ on up, movin’ on up
Movin’ on up, movin’ on up, movin’ on up
Movin’ on up, movin’ on up, movin’ on up
Movin’ on up, movin’ on up, movin’ on up
Movin’ on up, you’re movin’ on out
Movin’ on up, nothin’ can stop me
Movin’ on up, you’re movin’ on out
Time to break free, nothing can stop me
Movin’, movin’, movin’, nothin’ can stop me
Movin’, movin’, time to break free, nothin’ can stop me
Songwriters: Mike Pickering / Paul Heard
Moving On Up lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Royalty Network, Unison Rights S.L., Universal Music Publishing Group, Warner Chappell Music, Inc

  1. The other day I came across a great meme that said, just in case we mess up someone’s life when we give them advice, we should add the words, “so the legend says” so that is my disclaimer from now on in all conversations, which is what this is. Will I also dress like a wizard? Possibly. Picture me dressed as a wizard! Although I am very confident that by not shoulding yourself all the time like this, ruminating on past behaviour and experiences, you will in fact, do very well. ↩︎
March brings a new month, new intentions and new blessings. Calendar and a quote to inspire you.

March brings a new month, new intentions and new blessings. Calendar and a quote to inspire you.

March on. Do not tarry. To go forward is to move toward perfection. March on, and fear not the thorns, or the sharp stones on life’s path.

Khalil Gibran

It’s been an interesting beginning to March. I came across an expression that is very comforting: “When March comes in like a lion, it leaves like a lamb.” Another comfort to me is my yoga practice, so much so that I found it really difficult to decline teaching requests as if the more yoga we get out into the atmosphere the more peaceful moments we’ll have. I’ve come to my yoga mat upset or angry many times, but I have never left it the same way. Not once!

This sunset came after a very stormy and stressful day, a real tonic for the spirits. The next day the clouds cleared and I could see as far as the mountains.

This is a quiet week which is why I am finally uploading the calendar, and I’ll also use this chance to finish editing at least two yoga videos – one is for depression and one is for backbending. My main intention for the month will be to continue working on myself and all the ways yoga can serve as a tool for self help. And I will ask myself how I can stay focused and resilient, no matter what?

I hope that this month brings you blessings and strength.

Book Club: In search of my Zen (mother) nature. Buddhism for Mothers by Sarah Napthali

Book Club: In search of my Zen (mother) nature. Buddhism for Mothers by Sarah Napthali

I know I am not the only mother who tussles with the notion that she is not as calm as she would like to be. Frustrations arise and sleep is hard to come by. So are a few minutes alone to shower let alone meditate on our mental state. Meditate?! When? When there is laundry to put away or when our children need to be fed or when when when. Meanwhile it feels like the world keeps spinning for everyone else, off they go to the gym or to the shops or for a poo. Lucky.

Envy. Worry. Anger. It’s a yuck feeling to have come over you. And it hurts if you have always felt you are a naturally positive and strong person. Suddenly you feel weak and quite low. A few months ago I bought a book called Buddhism for Mothers by Sarah Napthali. I don’t have a lot of time to read it in one sitting but I keep it nearby and when The Child is happy to we dip into it and have a ponder together. I read a little more when TC sleeps.

(by the way I am not sponsored and anyway I bought my copy off Booktopia for the Qantas FF points)

More than anything I am searching for a way to navigate evolving into a Mother whilst still maintaining everything else that I am and can be. At the same time I want to be PRESENT, and here for my child. I discover every night how important it is to be present with my child. We have a more loving, peaceful and happy evening if the day was spent in a calm manner than not. Duh. On days I look at a page or two I seem to be able to maintain a sense of insight over my feelings and practice some semblance of mindfulness.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin