Category: Life Lessons to Live Well

Sharing the lessons I am learning (and re learning!) in life and in yoga in the hopes that you may find these to be helpful tools in your own beautiful journey through life.

Coulda, Shoulda, Prada – turn around, your mountain is this way and it is never too late

Coulda, Shoulda, Prada – turn around, your mountain is this way and it is never too late

by Dominique ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Day 2 of the Climb That Mountain series. For Day 1 go here.

“What if I prefer oceans?” for the love of Gary, would you just go with the metaphor? I can already hear some smart arse friends getting stuck on the mountain theme. We’re doing the mountain metaphor for your personal journey, ok? Just. Would you please. Gosh.

I’m now shaking my head from getting caught up in an imaginary conversation that would TOTALLY happen. We all have friends like these. We love them but man, they are so cheeky, aren’t they? Where was we.. oh, that’s right.

Let’s do a visualisation exercise.

Imagine two friends having a catch up in a cafe. They’re talking about what they have been doing and one of them is saying “Oh, I should really go back to the gym regularly. But I just lose track of time and before I know it, it’s the weekend. And also I haven’t been eating all that healthy. I shouldn’t have had all that wine the other night, I feel awful. I should really cut down on the sugar and the pastries. I also feel like I should be doing more meditation and I should really get a better paying job, and I should do more with my time and I shouldn’t have wasted all the chances I had in the past to study more, workout when I had the time or the energy. I’ve left things too late to make a change. I feel like I have arthritis, I should have taken better care of myself. I should have managed my finances better, I should take up a sport, I used to play but I didn’t practice enough. I should do something creative, but I never felt like I was any good at it, and I should…”

And finally the other friend leans forward and says, “Hey” and the friend pauses and says “what“, a little surprised. That’s when the other friend says,

“You’ve got a little…. should on your face.”

Have you been…. should-ing all over yourself like that? If not, well congratulations to you! You probably don’t need to read this post although, you might know someone who is should-ing themselves quite a bit. But if you are, well, you need to stop that. Or, more appropriately, you may wish to consider stopping that, so the legend says.1

Let go of “should”, of all the what should have beens, could have beens. Are your circumstances not as marvellous as you would like because of something that happened or that you did in the past? Oftentimes, life happens. Sometimes we make mistakes. We make choices that… meh, shrugs in I been there too.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989). The number of times this guy could have said that about my choices. Good times were had! Sometimes, just times!

But that’s life. We live, we learn. We keep living. What happened to you may not have been your fault. But how you move forwards is your responsibility. Maybe you did the best you could at the time and now you know you can do better. From this moment forward, how will you choose to live your life? How are you meant to move forward, onwards and upwards, if you look back and dwell on what should have been, could have been. In the words of the great Anastasia Beaverhausen

Coulda Shoulda Prada honey!

“Bed, Bath and Beyond” Will & Grace, NBC. Karen Walker was a gift! Aka Anastasia Beaverhausen

Don’t cling to an old mistake because you spent a lot of time making it. Let go or be dragged. Cut whatever cords that bind you to what was done. In investments sometimes it dawns on us that whatever this is… turns out not to be a good investment and we need to cut our losses and move on. If you ever play tennis, the point you just lost? Yeah, it’s important but not as important as the next point!

The point being that with whatever has happened you don’t necessarily need to completely throw the whole thing out and start all over. Take a look at what doesn’t make sense to hold on to as you move onwards. Sometimes we hang on to certain situations because we’re afraid of failing whatever endeavour we are thinking about embarking on. Forgive the past and release it. Let go or be dragged.

Also, let’s talk about life EXPERIENCE. Most experience comes from the mistakes we make. And sometimes great adventures come attached. You made it through to the other side of whatever you went through. Well done you!

“Every life experience, no matter how ‘tragic’ contains a hidden lesson. When we discover and acknowledge the hidden lesson that is there, a healing takes place.”

– Dr David R. Hawkins

Whatever happened got you to where you are now. And you are right on time and right where you need to be. You have plenty of time to now take action. Action is not dwelling or regretting. No more of that. Let’s get on with the rest of your life.

MOVING ON! Where’s that mountain? Head that way and look where you’re going.

Your task today: Listen to this song, break free and move on up. Maybe dance a little too. Stop shoulding all over yourself. Friends don’t let friends should themselves in the foot.

Movin’ on up, movin’ on up, movin’ on up
Movin’ on up, movin’ on up, movin’ on up
Movin’ on up, movin’ on up, movin’ on up
Movin’ on up, movin’ on up, movin’ on up
Movin’ on up, you’re movin’ on out
Movin’ on up, nothin’ can stop me
Movin’ on up, you’re movin’ on out
Time to break free, nothing can stop me
Movin’, movin’, movin’, nothin’ can stop me
Movin’, movin’, time to break free, nothin’ can stop me
Songwriters: Mike Pickering / Paul Heard
Moving On Up lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Royalty Network, Unison Rights S.L., Universal Music Publishing Group, Warner Chappell Music, Inc

  1. The other day I came across a great meme that said, just in case we mess up someone’s life when we give them advice, we should add the words, “so the legend says” so that is my disclaimer from now on in all conversations, which is what this is. Will I also dress like a wizard? Possibly. Picture me dressed as a wizard! Although I am very confident that by not shoulding yourself all the time like this, ruminating on past behaviour and experiences, you will in fact, do very well. ↩︎
“I helped a man climb a mountain and found that I, too, had reached the top.”

“I helped a man climb a mountain and found that I, too, had reached the top.”

by Dominique ♥ 1 Comment

I started this blog thingy with the intention to share what helps me live a happier or healthier or sometimes both type of life. In short, I wanted to help by sharing.

Alot of the time perfectionism gets in the way of actually posting something.

Turns out, this is something alot of us do in life. We practice “all or nothing” thinking. You may know it as a fear of failure. We fear that something won’t work, so we end up not doing anything at all. I’m going to go back to the basics and hope that helps you too. One step at a time. That’s it. Let’s start to climb your mountain today by taking one step. I’m with you.

Step one: try something different. Instead of judging or shaming or regretting, try… accepting. Accept yourself. Accept every single version of you that has come to be. Acceptance doesn’t mean “I accept myself so I don’t need to work on improving anything about myself.” It means sitting with who you are now even whilst you acknowledge areas that you would like to work on.

How does that sound? What stops you from practising self-acceptance? Talk about it amongst yourselves.

I wish you a calm and peaceful day. x

I Pulled Something

I Pulled Something

by Dominique ♥ 1 Comment

I was on a call and as we were talking, I pulled some cards. The top was for me and as I continued regarding them, here is what came out.

We can all take something useful from these.

Most importantly, be unapologetic, take a little audacity and delusion and apply it to yourself!

Be audacious about how awesome you believe yourself to be! Be delusional about how successful you will be in realising your dreams!

No more tip toeing. Sashay all the way!

Speaking of useful, I introduced a mum friend to Pinterest this weekend. I said to her “less talky talky and mostly visuals” and she was all, “Fantastic! Gimme!” I haven’t seen her since and I don’t blame her.

Here is my own Pinterest board situation

Whenever I see a comment with the words “I can confidently confirm” I can feel a huge smirk spread over my face. Love it. Especially when the quote contains words such as “idiots”. We’re in for a good time guys.

Do you love uplifting posts filled with inspiration and wisdom? I don’t know where you can go for that BUT if you are into sporadic, irregular, wildly inconsistent material like the above? Well, THAT I can do in which case please feel free to subscribe down below.

Also, I am really into feedback. Only the adoring kind, thank you so much. xox

Psychic or cyber attack? Dealing with bullying like a zen master. (Work in progress)

Psychic or cyber attack? Dealing with bullying like a zen master. (Work in progress)

by Dominique ♥ 1 Comment

I gotta tell you… someone has been trying to bother me. Just between you and me in the privacy of my home and ahem also here… it was not a pleasant experience for me to say the least mainly because it was out of the blue. Quelle surprise!

However, I took the time to reflect on how I wanted to respond outwardly and I decided that my response will be nothing. Message not received. I told myself no I won’t be angry, I’m not drinking this cup of poison over the behaviour of someone else.

I was pretty peeved though… and boy is it tempting to throw down!

You know what I find hard to comprehend and maybe it’s not understandable is how someone could form this type of mal intention to inflict pain and suffering on someone else. Someone that they don’t know and never met. I don’t expect people to just wish me blessings all day long but WHO goes out of their way to try to victimise someone and ruin their peace?! Just bizarre…

WHO do they think they are? And WHO did they think I am?

Various memes floating around on the internet with this theme as you can see.

I love memes so much…

Let’s try to be classy about things before I get carried away! If not classy, then just make good choices!

Don’t throw down Dom…

In an overly simplistic explanation, my mum has a technique of checking feelings. Who does this belong to? Yours? No, not yours. Sometimes she will say yes it is yours. She does it in a flash.

I slept badly anyway after my experience and had a terrible dream. In it I was defending myself but I woke up shaken. It was as if I was under psychic attack. How so? Well, was I feeling at peace? Well, no, I was obviously bothering myself by holding on to thoughts instead of letting them pass me by. This is no longer about that person, this is about my reaction. What is my reaction? I said I won’t react but my mind is chattering away. There is a disconnection going on here.

So again I made an effort to distance myself not just by refraining to respond but to really not receive the message. I choose peace.

Mine? No, not mine.

Return to sender.

May I be conscious.

May you be conscious.

May we all be conscious.

Here is a Zen story I came across a long time ago. 

There once lived a great warrior. Though quite old, he still was able to defeat any challenger. His reputation extended far and wide throughout the land and many students gathered to study under him. 
One day an infamous young warrior arrived at the village. He was determined to be the first man to defeat the great master. Along with his strength, he had an uncanny ability to spot and exploit any weakness in an opponent. He would wait for his opponent to make the first move, thus revealing a weakness, and then would strike with merciless force and lightning speed. No one had ever lasted with him in a match beyond the first move.
Much against the advice of his concerned students, the old master gladly accepted the young warrior's challenge. As the two squared off for battle, the young warrior began to hurl insults at the old master. He threw dirt and spit in his face. For hours he verbally assaulted him with every curse and insult known to mankind. But the old warrior merely stood there motionless and calm. Finally, the young warrior exhausted himself. Knowing he was defeated, he left feeling shamed.
Somewhat disappointed that he did not fight the insolent youth, the students gathered around the old master and questioned him. "How could you endure such an indignity? How did you drive him away?" 
"If someone comes to give you a gift and you do not receive it," the master replied, "to whom does the gift belong?"

John Suler’s Zen Stories to Tell Your Neighbours.

I may not be the great warrior but I can do my best to remain calm and immoveable under pressure.

No, not mine.

May we all be conscious and wake up.

*Just a word now about bullying and being bullied. It’s unacceptable behaviour and is usually never about the person targeted. In a lot of instances we can choose to remain calm and continue to live our lives peacefully and that’s all that needs to be done. You may or may not want to also inform this person that oi, you need to wake up, cut that behaviour out and pull yourself together and have some dignity ffs. Every situation is different. IF YOU ARE IN DANGER YOU NEED TO CONTACT AUTHORITIES, YOU NEED TO TELL PEOPLE WHAT IS HAPPENING AND YOU NEED TO MOVE YOURSELF TO A PLACE OF SAFETY.

March brings a new month, new intentions and new blessings. Calendar and a quote to inspire you.

March brings a new month, new intentions and new blessings. Calendar and a quote to inspire you.

by Dominique

March on. Do not tarry. To go forward is to move toward perfection. March on, and fear not the thorns, or the sharp stones on life’s path.

Khalil Gibran

It’s been an interesting beginning to March. I came across an expression that is very comforting: “When March comes in like a lion, it leaves like a lamb.” Another comfort to me is my yoga practice, so much so that I found it really difficult to decline teaching requests as if the more yoga we get out into the atmosphere the more peaceful moments we’ll have. I’ve come to my yoga mat upset or angry many times, but I have never left it the same way. Not once!

This sunset came after a very stormy and stressful day, a real tonic for the spirits. The next day the clouds cleared and I could see as far as the mountains.

This is a quiet week which is why I am finally uploading the calendar, and I’ll also use this chance to finish editing at least two yoga videos – one is for depression and one is for backbending. My main intention for the month will be to continue working on myself and all the ways yoga can serve as a tool for self help. And I will ask myself how I can stay focused and resilient, no matter what?

I hope that this month brings you blessings and strength.

Tidy Space Tidy Mind

Tidy Space Tidy Mind

by Dominique

Clutter is a real mind messer arounder. I get it now. It is so easy to fall into a trap thinking you need a bigger space for all your stuff. To some extent yes, of course we need a cupboard to put things into but a penthouse? A five bedroom house? Probably not.

One of the things about our living space is the lack of cabinetry, so I bought some to make up for the lack of storage space. But how about that, I still had a crap load of stuff all over the place that needed to be put away, yet there was no where to put it. What now mighty mind?!

Obviously it was a case of me not using the space I had intelligently and also there being WAY TOO MANY THINGS. It has been very obvious what needed to be done but it was a case of finding the time to do it and overcoming the sensation of overwhelm that left me feeling too exhausted to get started.

Over the last month something overcame me and it was a funny time that I suddenly felt this urge considering it was one of the busiest months in our life yet I was just brimming with energy ready to tackle things.

Today I tackled a small but pretty important space, the kitchen counter, specifically the space above my little toaster oven and just next to it, and the spice cabinet above it.

One of my goals is to clear the dining table and have enough counter space to do things on it. I don’t have a proper workspace so the dining table is my little art studio/office space. So every meal time we have to shovel everything off down one end so we have enough space for our elbows. Yeesh. B is very kind and doesn’t say a word about it but how much better would it be if we had a clear table. Also my altar faces our dining table so it would be good to clear the clutter.

Looking into the spice cabinet I can see I haven’t used the space properly, I tried with those little Ikea metal shelves but it wasn’t organised enough so I couldn’t fit alot of stuff in and things overflowed out onto the dining table and kitchen counter.

Let me show you, I hope you feel the same physical relief I felt after getting this done! It’s incredible how clearing clutter can affect your mental state. It felt so wonderful that now I might even bake some banana bread! (It felt like a pain in the arse to clear things out the way and get things out of the cabinet to do any baking. And I used to sell baked goods so how hilarious is that?)

I highly recommend it if you also have clutter hanging around that you have been meaning to get to.

the hubris of bending over backwards

the hubris of bending over backwards

by Dominique

Many years ago (many? errr it was long enough!), I accompanied some of the people I knew to a photo shoot for a book on yoga.

They needed some photos for back bends and asked me if I could do the modelling. I said sure! I thought I had a flexible back, (cue narrator voice, “she did not have that flexible a back“) no worries, what do you need. I thought I was helping. Helping who?

Can you guess how this ends?

I got into wheel pose, fresh, not very warmed up as practice was already a few hours ago. All fine, do this do that, ok we got the pictures. Man did I feel twingey that night! And I never had back problems so it was pretty alarming.

Pride comes before a fall but also before a backbend before you are properly warmed up. A little wordy but it gets the message across.

To this day, I don’t even know if the book ended up getting published and if the photos were really used.

I’ve learned since that jumping to attention and trying to people please is not the wisest move. You can pause and work up to it.

Something for me to laugh about.

yogawheel yoga stretching flexibility

Have you had this type of lesson?